The well-oiled machine meets

Dear Mom,
Today was amazing and I want nothing more than to be able to tell you about it. I am sure that you have been watching what has been going on down here, with the accident and the young boy and girl who were hurt and how I have been dealing with it. I don't know if you realize this, but tonight is the anniversary of learning you were going to die, starting with them taking you to ICU. I can't believe it has been a year, a year since I last talked to you. I am completely amazed by that, and the way my life is unfolding now.

The young girl in the accident, Karyssa, as I'm sure you know, has really changed my faith. I am aware she's in critical condition and that things can always change, but for now, she is out of ICU and starting to slowly improve. It is a miracle, and for once in nearly a year, I believe good things can happen again. I have such faith in her that she will be ok and that things in general will be ok.

Today I met Melinda. We met at Starbucks for coffee. I'm sure you were watching down on us that morning, watching us work together to help try and hold Karyssa on this Earth. She was slipping fast, and we both knew it and there was nothing else to do but help. Neither one of us thought twice about it, and I know that my strength came from you. I wasn't sure if I could do it. I also wondered if you were there, waiting to take her. Or helping her stay here. Were you there?

I thought I felt you. Which side were you on?

I am sure, knowing you, that you have felt my turmoil and my anger and my fear through this event, and I am positive you have done whatever you can to help. I hope you put a good word in for Karyssa. It seems to be working.

As I have said before, Melinda is a complete angel and she has done something I am sure most people would not have the courage to ever do in their whole lives. There is not a stronger expression of love for people than sacrificing your health and safety to take in someone else's blood into your body in the attempt to save a life. Not even knowing if it might work. She is a hero and an angel, and I think more people should be like her. The world really would be a better place.

She is hurting right now, and I hope that you take some time to offer some love and support. She deserves it, and even though she, nor I, can see you, I have felt you many times when I have needed you and maybe she will too. See what you can do.

Tonight, we talked as though we were good friends, like we just knew each other. An instant "click." I think this definitely reflects in our efforts that morning, working like a "well-oiled machine," as I mentioned in an earlier post. I am wondering what will come of this tragedy and I'm starting to feel as though the positives far outweigh the negatives.

I have had such a hard time finding something to believe in, and for the first time in a long time, I believe. I believe in so many things right now. Karyssa is the reason for this, and I am so thankful to have her in my life.

And, the most exciting part, is that I get to meet her on Friday. She is still in a coma, but she is getting better and I can't wait to tell her that I believe in her and how much she has helped me. On your anniversary.

Isn't this bizarre how it's turning out?

I still think about you non-stop and so many things remind me of you. I am a little nervous to see Karyssa but I know that you will be behind me all the way. I am simply amazed at the way this is all unfolding, and I am wondering if you have had a hand in it. You know I never really believed in the whole "everything happens for a reason" idea. I do not see a reason why you died, or why Aunt Polly died, or why things ended up the way they did. But maybe, just maybe, there is a reason for all of this: why I was at that accident, and why Melinda was at the accident too. The first step has been made to figure out all of this, and it started tonight when Melinda and I met. The next step will be Friday, when I get to meet Karyssa and her parents.

I am interested in seeing where this goes and I have a feeling you are playing a big part in it. Thank you. Did you see how low I was getting? Did you see I needed rescuing? I am sure you did--you're my mom, and no one knows me better. Thank you for sending me this opportunity, I am doing my best to learn from it and I am continuing to work to be a better person. I love you. I miss you. You are my angel, and I see your love even though we are apart.